Dixie Rules

When I moved to the Hat in ’89 Dixie had a strange request for me. Would I teach her to golf? But it had to be a secret. She wanted to learn so she could golf with her husband, but she didn’t want him to know. She had to be ‘good’ first. (My sister was never very athletic, and she was reluctant to participate in sports because if she was going to do something, she was going to do it well.)

Asking me to teach her to be a good golfer is akin to asking Edward Scissorhands to teach you to play piano, but I agreed to show her the basics. Off to the par 3 at Paradise Valley we went, or sneaked. Az thought we were off at Bingo, but no..we were doing sports stuff.

It was painful. Not getting her husband to teach her was a good idea-I think that would have been very hard on the marriage, but asking her sister was a little difficult too. There were thrown clubs, swearing, quitting at the fifth hole, temper tantrums…and you should have seen Dixie!

We typically waited at the first tee until no one was around, but eventually it happened. We had to tee off in front of others waiting. Not good. I went first, then Dixie. She looked very golfish-the shirt, the shorts, the golf shoes and requisite visor. She did a practice swing or two, looked good and then swung. The ball went sideways, 180° and pinged off the nearby equipment shed. She said not a word, just grabbed her clubs and marched towards the second tee. I picked up my ball, did not play the first hole either, and followed her.

Thus became the beginning of Dixie rules on the golf course. One rule was that when you lost a ball in the ruff, you were allowed to, or should I say, expected to, retrieve not only the ball you lost but as many others as possible. If someone was behind you, just wave them through. A good golf game hinged on how many extra balls you acquired.

Dix was a creative score keeper. Mulligans were many, balls in the sand didn’t count, and perhaps here most famous rule was the foot wedge. A slight kick of a few inches to a few meters in the right direction was perfectly fine. She would have appreciated the actual ‘foot wedge’ I found online!

Dixie went on to be a great golfer, much better than I ever was. She took some lessons from real pros and developed a very weird, I mean unorthodox swing. Still it worked for her. Golfing became a huge part of her life. I would go over to her house and she’d be watching some tournament on TV. I mean, really? It made Bingo look exciting.

My sister’s personality was very different than mine. She would work at something until she had mastered it. I, on the other hand, tend to try something, enjoy it for a while, then move on to the next thing.